It's true. If the acupuncture had worked, I WOULD have been all over this blog: writing stuff, being witty, acting smart. Because I wouldn't be sleep deprived. If I had even gotten 3 hours of sleep in a row once between Saturday and now, I would be happy. And I would be thinking that the acupuncture might have helped. But no dice. YET.
Abel continues to Struggle. We continue to Struggle. Not during the days- the days are lovely rays of sunshine in which Abel beams from ear to ear. We play and have lunch dates at the local Mediterranean fast food joint, giggling at each other over falafel, and Abel practices waving to the other patrons. The days are beautiful. Even in my sleep deprived state, I enjoy them immensely. I love the bigger steps with less holding on he is making. I love that he enjoys pretending to feed his babydoll cheerios and kissing her head. I love that he has LEARNED THE SIGN FOR MILK (so endearing and sweet)!!
It's the nights that cause these two grownups and one baby to shed many, many tears. We seem to have an unspoken rotation of whose turn it is to break down. Luckily, each night provides MANY opportunities, so we all get plenty of turns. I BELIEVE in my heart of hearts that babies Abel's age need to wake up once or twice during the night. I am FINE with that. In fact, I dare to say... I encourage that. Eight to ten times per night? Not awesome.
We are going back to Dr. X in a few weeks. My friend Laura (another attachment parenting mama and all around awesome friend) asked me if I thought the acupuncture experiment was a bust. I told her that I didn't want to discount it yet- partially because I have to believe that 11 months of crap sleep can't be solved by one spleen maneuver (or whatever Dr. X did). But mostly, because if I totally discount it, I might just keel over from a fully deflated sleep-spirit.
All my love, support, and empathy . . . lack of sleep and not being able to help your baby suck the joy out of life.
ReplyDeleteKeep trying what ever feels right in your mother's heart.
Keep writing . . . I think the writing helps me the most.
This is a most difficult challenge.
Sue Tierney
Thinking of you, Sarah, Mike, & Able. I am glad the days are rays of sunshine for you. Know that you are both wonderful, successful parents because of the happy days. You have a thriving, healthy boy (who is absolutely adorable!!!) "This too shall pass..." I know that is not so helpful advice, but it has gotten me through many sleepless nights in the past 11 months.
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